Chubber's Basketball Blog

Free Throws 7/30/2011

2011-07-30T21:00:00.001-07:00

61/100, 59/100.

Free Throws 6/26/2011

2011-06-26T20:39:00.001-07:00

43/100, 47/100, then 38/100. :\

Free Throws 6/24/2011

2011-06-24T01:09:00.001-07:00

44/100 and then 57/100. Streaky.

Free Throws 6/2/2011

2011-06-02T23:14:00.001-07:00

56/100 on free throws, that's what I call progress.

Do We Care About The Pacers?

2011-04-19T06:10:00.001-07:00

After playing the Bulls closely for 2 games, the Indiana Pacers almost seem relevant. Is this something they can build off of or are they just catching the Bulls in a slump? A look back shows that the Bulls haven’t had convincing blowout wins against bad teams. Regardless, the Pacers’ play has been focused, outside of the last 3 minutes of each game.

Hold on though, are we just going to ignore that Indiana finished the season with 8 more losses than wins? How about the fact that their leading scorer, Danny Granger, shoots a measly 42.5%. The best case scenario for next season is sneaking up to a sixth seed and then losing in 6. Admittedly I don’t ever watch Pacers games, and it seems like they do have some nice pieces in Granger, Collison, and Hibbert. But why are they 37-45 in the East then?

My Thoughts On The Western Conference

2011-04-15T23:59:00.001-07:00

Memphis Grizzlies

It’s sad that Rudy Gay will not be playing in the playoffs. Before the FIBA world championships started, I thought that Rudy Gay, Danny Granger, and Andre Iguodala were all pretty much the same player. Boy was I wrong. Iguodala could really defend, and Gay was very active offensively. Granger was good for sitting on the bench.

I don’t know much about the Grizzlies but at least I don’t expect them to be future roadkill like the Pacers.

New Orleans Hornets

David West hurt. Chris Paul playing hurt. Marco Belinelli as a starter (37 points in summer league!!!). Trevor Ariza shooting a career low 39.8%. Not much to say here.

Portland

Another team I don’t know much about. So let’s talk about Greg Oden instead.

We as fans have been robbed. We should be watching the Blazers and the Thunder dueling as the up and coming teams of the West. We should be having debates about the different makeup of the teams, having your best players be your center and shooting guard or your small forward and point guard. We could be watching someone smack Andrew Bynum around and telling him “You want to be an All-Star? You gotta get through me first.” But it seems that this is not to be.

Denver

I have to admit that I am a bit of a Henry Abbott Hater. In case you’re unaware, he manages the TrueHoop blog on ESPN and he’s written so many anti-Kobe articles that he’s become a one trick, ugly butt, pony. I’m okay with him writing the articles, but it’s gotten to the point where he’s essentially writing the same thing over and over. But hey, it gets page views and then he gets to go on talk shows so whoopee.

Don’t worry, I’m going somewhere with this. On a podcast, Abbott said that a Denver-Bulls Finals match up would be great for ratings. I laughed so hard. Then I proceeded to roll around on the ground while laughing. He also picked Denver to win in 7.

Anyway, I think Denver is a fun team to watch, but now I want them to lose in 4. I’m such a hater.

Oklahoma City Thunder

In the rush to crown Durant MVP before the season started, many people forgot that basketball had to actually be played first. And when Durant didn’t wow everyone immediately, the media found the next nicest guy to crown MVP, Derrick Rose. Kevin Durant is the anti-Lebron, except when he’s not. Remember when he called out Chris Bosh as a fake tough guy and then didn’t back down publicly? Not much was made of it because he’s the nice guy, and it helped that everyone was making fun of Bosh anyway.

I’m just curious if there’s any precedent for someone being such the frontrunner for MVP before the season even starts, and then suddenly dropping off the map. Much of it has to do with the emergence of Westbrook, who plays like the ball made a disparaging remark to his mother and the only way to avenge his family’s honor is to dunk the ball. His ascension has done wonders for the team, but it pretty much ruined Durant’s chance at MVP. In this league, the MVP race is not only about the best story, but the timing of it too. Your feel good story has to peak at the right time. Durant came in with such high expectations that once he had a slow start, he had a path equally as difficult as Lebron’s.

Dallas Mavericks

I’ve always liked the Mavs, going back to the end of the Nash/Dirk/Nelson days. They had some pretty good games against the Sacramento Kings in the playoffs where no one cared about defense. They also have some very relaxing jersey colors. I had Terry, Dirk, and Kidd on my fantasy team this year so I’ve been following pretty closely and heavily invested in the team.

I’ve watched quite a few Mavs games this year and mostly I’ve been pretty impressed. Good teams know what they want to do in crunch time, and having that plan is half the battle. I made comparisons to the Celtics earlier in the year because the Mavs have so many options in the offense they run. They’re direct in their approach, and yet flexible at the same time. Their zone defense is also very fun to watch, simply because they’re one of the few teams in the league that employ it well.

Side note: All the tough guys in the league think that running a zone means you’re not manly enough to play man to man. The Mavs don’t seem to care about this perception, probably because they kind of suck at defense individually. Despite Jason Kidd’s aerodynamic baldness, he’s just not that fast. Jason “Jet” Terry fits his nickname quite well; he has problems changing directions quickly. Dirk isn’t a soft marshmallow, but maybe more like a stale, sort of soft, marshmallow.

Side note 2: I’m not sure if this was just a dream but I read/dreamed that Rick Carlisle implemented some variation of the Triangle Offense, called the Square Offense.

I find it hilarious how everyone has jumped onto the Trailblazers bandwagon. Even as the third seed, no one believes in the Mavs anymore. I myself picked the Blazers to win in 7, but I’d be happy to see the Mavs advance. The more I think about it the more I want to switch my pick to the Mavs, but you know what they say. The first guess is right 90% of the time.

San Antonio Spurs

For the past 5 years, the chorus of “Despite a slow start, you can never count out the Spurs” has been getting quieter and quieter. It’s not news that as we get older, our hearing deteriorates. The Spurs are an aging, veteran team and I imagine that someone mentioned to them that they would have to ‘flip the switch’ this season and they misheard it as ‘flip the script’. How else do you explain the sudden change in just about everything?

Slow Start? They rolled out to a 37-6 start. Defense first? Nope, best offense in the league. No off court drama? Tony Parker cheats on his wife. In past years, even if the Spurs were 0-82, everyone said that they still had a chance to win the championship. Now, with the best record in the league, they’ve already been written off. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had also switched their jersey colors for home/away games.

The Spurs should be a fun team to watch this year. They have the highest offensive efficiency in the league, take tons of 3’s, and aren’t slow anymore. You’ve got Tony Parker as one of the best finishers in the league, Manu Ginobili as their Kobe-lite who hits big shots, and Duncan dunkin’. (Well, the Duncan part isn’t true anymore, he’s more likely to be at a Dunkin’ Donuts than dunking basketballs now.) Matt Bonner hitting 3’s with his unique form is always a beauty.

One person I do have my eye on is Tiago Splitter. I’m of the opinion that the Spurs will need healthy contributions from him to go far in these playoffs. ACL-less Dejuan Blair reminds me of a rolly-polly, and he’s not going to be enough to stop the big centers. I can’t wait for the day when we’ll hear these phrases all in one game.

"Duncan dunks the ball!”
”Splitter splits the defense!”
”Parker… parks his car.”

Los Angeles Lakers

Great season for the Lakers. I predicted before the season started that they wouldn’t get the 1 seed, and I’d like to pat myself on the back for getting that correct. Despite that, they’ve kept relatively focused and made enough of a run to get the all important 2 seed in the competitive West.

Unfortunately, this season has slowly shifted my perception of Kobe. Even while having two posters of him up on my walls, I feel comfortable telling you that I’m not a Kobe groupie. It’s often said that Kobe is the closest thing we will ever have to Michael Jordan, but more and more, I feel that’s just like saying margarine is the closest thing we have to butter. Forget the margarine, if I can’t have my butter on my toast, I’ll just get jam. Perhaps the mist and fog of only knowing Jordan through highlight tapes makes me wholly unqualified to make any sort of comparison, but Kobe Bryant is not Michael Jordan. At all. Even if Kobe Bryant gets a seventh ring, I’d feel dirty trying to argue that he’s on the level of Michael Jordan.

My first statistic when I make the comparison is always FG%. Jordan had a career 49.7%, which was hurt by those two imaginary years as a Wizard. Kobe is at 45.4%. I’m not going to throw two numbers at you and say end of discussion, but I believe that’s a great starting point.

Kobe hater gators love to bring up the 6-24 stat line from last year’s game 7, and I can’t help but feel that mentality he had in that game kind of carried over to this season. He’s playing 5 less minutes per game, but only taking 1.5 less shots. His usage rate is at 35.1%, the highest in the last 5 years and the second highest in his career. With so many other talented guys on the roster, does Kobe really need the ball so much? Numbers only tell you so much, but watching him play hasn’t been extremely pretty either. Too often you see iso’s that eat up the shot clock and result in tough, low percentage shots. I’ll be the first to say that when they go in, I feel like I ate a chocolate cake, but through my eyes. Too often though, they don’t go in. And don’t even get me started on the fourth quarter version of Kobe that won’t share the ball.

I used to think that the one area that Kobe would have a leg up on Jordan is the way he leaves the game. Jordan had that perfect movie ending to his career, until he came back to the Wizards and ruined it all. And then dissed everyone in his life during his HOF speech. I had envisioned a Kobe that knew when his time was over, and would slowly reduce his role for the betterment of the team. I can’t tell if this ball hog is the Kobe that we will see 2 years from now. My hope is that Kobe knows what’s up and is only trying to enjoy the last of his ball chucking days while they’re still around.

After all this I’ve banged out about how bad Kobe has been this season, I have to admit that I was very surprised when I took a look at his statistics. More free throw attempts, rebounds, and assists per 36 minutes than last season. Comparable stats everywhere else. A higher PER than last season. Long story short, I don’t know what exactly to think anymore.

I’ve made this all about Kobe, and not about the team, but what else is there to say. Fisher has been nonexistent. Gasol was MVP for the first 3 weeks. (My theory is that Kobe had a private 1-on-1 talk with him and told him to stop stealing the stoplight.) I’m numb to Bynum(I rhymed) and his injuries.

With all that said, let’s go Lakers.

Power Rankings

2011-04-14T12:05:00.001-07:00

We, as a nation of sports fans, have an unhealthy obsession with power rankings. Don’t get me wrong, ranking teams is a natural and fun thing to do. We can’t actually crown a team as the champion until the end of the year, and power rankings let us do that every week.

I don’t want to sound like I only care about good teams, but power rankings only really matter for the top 5 or so teams. As a Warriors fan, I don’t jump out of my chair and yell “Progress!” when my team jumps from the 22nd spot to the 19th spot in some random person’s power rankings. Power rankings try to tell you who’s better beyond the win-loss record, but for mediocre teams that’s almost all that matters.

ESPN has two power rankings available for our entertainment. The featured one is Hollinger’s Power Rankings, which is based on some formula. It’s very good because numbers tell us everything about basketball. Oh wait no they don’t. The other one is by Marc Stein, and he just uses his eyes to tell us what’s up. That’s very good because he watches every game in the week and therefore is qualified to compare all the teams. Oh wait no he doesn’t.

Ending on a happier note, here’s my power rankings for the days in a week.

Rank	Day	Comments
1	Friday	Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday
2	Saturday	No obligations
3	Sunday	Close call between Sunday and Thursday but Sunday has been impressive lately
4	Thursday	Almost Friday
5	Tuesday	Comes after Monday, which is good
6	Wednesday	The word itself is too long so I have to dock it points
7	Monday	Garfield hates Mondays, so do I

If I Were A Gambling Man 4/5

2011-04-05T12:55:00.001-07:00

My Predictions
Spurs(-5.5) over Hawks Yes
Cavaliers(+1.5) over Bobcats Yes
Timberwolves(+5.5) over Nets Yes
Bucks(+8.5) over Magic Yes
Wizards(+1) over Pistons Yes
Celtics(-6) over 76ers Yes
Knicks(-9.5) over Raptors Yes
Suns(+11) over Bulls Yes
Grizzlies(-9.5) over Clippers No
Kings(+9) over Rockets Yes
Thunder(+4.5) over Nuggets Yes
Warriors(+10.5) over Trail Blazers Yes
Jazz(+13.5) over Lakers Yes

Update
Today: 12-1
Overall: 26-12-1

If I Were A Gambling Man 4/1

2011-04-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

My Predictions
Pacers(-3) over Bucks No
Magic(-12) over Bobcats Push
Nets(+10.5) over 76ers No
Cavs(+2) over Wizards No
Bulls(-8.5) over Pistons No
Celtics(-1.5) over Hawks No
Hornets(+1) over Grizzlies No
Heat(-11.5) over Timberwolves Yes
Spurs(+1.5) over Rockets No
Suns(-5) over Clippers Yes
Trail Blazers(-3) over Thunder Yes
Nuggets(-5) over Kings Yes
Lakers(-8.5) over Jazz Yes
Confidence Pick: Nets(+10.5) over 76ers
The Bobcats/Magic game seems impossible to bet on. There are 9 players that are day to day. The Spurs big 3 are all day to day also. I have a bad feeling about today’s picks.

Update
Today: 5-7-1
Overall: 14-11-1

If I Were A Gambling Man 3/30

2011-03-30T10:15:00.001-07:00

My Predictions
Magic (-2.5) over Hawks No
Pistons(+7) over Pacers No
76ers(-3) over Rockets Yes
Heat(-12) over Wizards Yes
Bucks(-4.5) over Raptors Yes
Cavs(+10) over Bobcats Yes
Nets(+10) over Knicks Yes
Trailblazers(-1.5) over Hornets No
Bulls(-9) over Timberwolves Yes
Grizzlies(-10.5) over Warriors Yes
Kings(+12.5) over Nuggets No
Thunder(-3.5) over Suns Yes
Mavs(-5.5) over Clippers Yes
If I had to pick one bet that I’m most confident about, I’d go with the Nets(+10) over the Knicks. Can’t wait to update this and see how many I get right.

Update
I want to congratulate myself for going 9-4 on my picks.

Lebron James Dancing on Ellen

2011-03-23T07:54:00.001-07:00

My only thought after watching this: This chump isn’t going to win any championships. Ever.

I’m Back

2011-03-12T00:38:00.001-08:00

“I’m back.”
--Michael Jordan, announcing on March 18, 1995 his return to the Chicago Bulls
“I’m back.”
--Me, announcing on March 11, 2011 my return to basketball for the first time in the spring semester
On a Thursday night filled with optimism, I made the decision to take my talents to the gym for a Friday morning shootaround. This being only the second time this semester that I would find myself with a basketball in my hands, I sought some inspiration from the GOAT, Michael Jordan, in the form of a commercial.

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
To be the GOFM (Greatest of Friday Morning), I had to take that line to heart. I had originally intended to shoot alone, but upon arrival my competitive juices flowed and I ended up playing two games instead.
Game 1
I guarded the only other asian guy playing, not because I can only guard asians, but because he wasn’t too tall or too muscular. We played to 21, by two’s and three’s. On our second offensive play, the self appointed point guard drove into the paint and kicked it out to me for the wide open 3. Miss. But that was okay, I couldn’t be afraid of shooting like Andris Biedrins. Michael Jordan said it himself, he’s missed 9000 shots in his career. (It’s actually closer to 12,000, but hey, it’s his commercial so he can say whatever he wants.)
From that first shot attempt on, it was mostly a blur.
Heavily contested baseline jumper. Miss.
Another wide open 3 pointer. Miss.
My patented ‘one dribble because any more than one dribble and I lose control of the ball’ pull up jumper. Too strong. Airball Miss.
My final stat line? 0-8. No assists. Two turnovers.
One of the turnovers was so bad that I could probably be legally banned from the sport for life. On a 2 on 1 fast break, I lobbed the ball up so high that Yao Ming on stilts on a giraffe wouldn’t have been able to catch it.
Oh and we lost 21-6. I may or may not have taken the most shots on the team.
Game 2
Same teams, except one of our players left and we picked up a new person. By this point I was gassed so I didn’t do much. I ended up shooting 0 times, not out of fear of failure, but out of fear of collapsing from exhaustion mid-shot. I almost got an assist but some guy blew a layup to spite me. (Not really, he blew a layup because he sucks.) (Not really, I’m just joking, my teammates were great.)
We won 21-15. Hm. I could draw some conclusions but I think it’s pretty obvious.
Aftermath
So now I’m just confused. I failed a lot, but I didn’t ever succeed. Perhaps I didn’t fail enough.
Either way, I’m back.

2/6/2011 Bulls @ Warriors Game Thoughts

2011-02-06T01:58:00.001-08:00

I was lucky enough to go to the Warriors game tonight. Here are some of my thoughts.

A lot more Bulls fans than I expected. They were loud and annoying. There was a family of 5 there all with their own bulls jersey there. It got me thinking, what if one the kids grows up and changes his team loyalty. Does his family disown him?
While at the game, I felt like Derrick Rose was very passive and didn’t take command of the game. Seeing that he still took 15 shots, had 10 assists, and 9 turnovers surprised me.
Seeing Boozer get a technical was satisfying
Seeing Boozer draw a bs flagrant foul on David Lee and then missing both free throws was very satisfying. BALL DON’T LIE
At one point the Bulls were up 11, and I could only think to myself “Damn you Warriors”, but they actually showed some backbone this time and slowly came back
Taking a step back, it’s odd rooting so hard for people that don’t know I exist
The guy one row in front took video/pics of the Warriors Girls and cheered super loud for them. People were more excited for free pizza than dunks in the 2nd quarter.

Rick Fox Needs To Edit His Wikipedia Page

2011-02-02T10:03:00.001-08:00

I know next to nothing about Rick Fox but I do know he won 3 rings as an important role player with the Los Angeles Lakers during the Kobe/Shaq era.

Here’s his Wikipedia’s article.

That’s all it says about his basketball career. Half of it highlights a failure and the good half doesn’t even mention any accomplishments. Ouch.

Bosh/Durant Convo

2011-02-01T16:32:00.001-08:00

Durant: Dunk on Bosh next time!

Bosh: Whoah slow down, why do you want to play hard? Let’s just chill.

Durant: Be quiet you dinosaur shaped third banana. We’re gonna take turns dunking all over you.

Bosh: I’m going to have my buddies LeBron and Wade dunk on you back.

Durant: Why don’t you do it yourself?

Bosh: Whoah slow down, I gotta watch my legs. I have to provide for my family and have a job. Also, I am a fake tough guy.

2010-11 NBA Preview

2010-10-26T00:37:00.001-07:00

Here’s my predictions of which teams will make the playoffs, in no particular order

East: Boston, Orlando, Miami, Chicago, Atlanta, New York, Milwaukee, Charlotte

West: LA Lakers, Dallas, San Antonio, Oklahoma City, Portland, Utah, Phoenix, Denver

Pretty tame predictions, but here’s some additional thoughts.

- Don’t think NY will be very good, but I can’t come up with a more reasonable choice in the East.

- Was thinking of dropping Phoenix or Denver and adding Houston, but I decided to stick with the boring decision. Turkoglu could derail Phoenix this year, or maybe not. Denver might trade Carmelo halfway and change things.

Whose Team Is It?

2010-10-09T02:19:00.001-07:00

Some thoughts on the Miami Heat…

Let’s first get past the narrow minded, MJ-fueled notion of what it means to be ‘The Man’. Kobe Bryant isn’t the leader of the Lakers because he’s the one who gets to chuck up 18 foot jump shots at the end of regulation. Kobe isn’t handed the keys to the team simply because he’s been around the longest either. Leadership is always about the intangibles. Admittedly, the whole ‘Star player singlehandedly wins game’ storyline is so much more epic than the ‘Star player passes to role player #3’ alternative. And yet, there’s no rule or reason, outside of highlight reel resume building and ego padding, that the team leader has to be the designated late game savior.

There have been premature proclamations as to who will be the leader of this star driven team. Columnists have to write columns, the Heat are the trendy topic right now, and there are only so many facts to follow before speculation becomes the easiest way to bang out a couple hundred more words about LeBron and Wade.

It’s not unreasonable to think that Dwyane Wade will be the face, legs, body and soul of the team. The man can flat out play and is right up there as a top 5 player in the league. LeBron is undoubtedly the better basketball player, but perhaps LeBron lacks that essential, or maybe imaginary, alpha male ‘tear your throat out’ mentality that American values dictates to be necessary in any great athlete.

However, it is, without question, unreasonable, and quite frankly ignorant, to say that this is Wade’s team if your reason simply consists of ‘He was here first and he’s won a championship here before’. Pocahontas and the American Indians were ‘here first’ but the Pilgrims had something to say about that once they arrived didn’t they? In case the analogy isn’t clear, Dwyane Wade is Pocahontas, LeBron James is a turkey eating Pilgrim, and Chris Bosh is smallpox.

Flawed analogies aside, this Heat team is nothing like the Heat team of 2006. Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem are the only remainders. This is a brand new team with a sparkling new team dynamic. One could even take the angle that Dwyane has his buddy Udonis Haslem while LeBron James brought his playmate Big Z to this new team. Chris Bosh brought the ball boy that no one likes. It’s anyone’s team at this point, as long as anyone only consists of Wade and LeBron.

I want to see this guy do well but…

2010-10-06T23:50:00.001-07:00

… can he please get rid of that moustache/goatee?

Von Wafer

2010-10-06T23:29:00.001-07:00

Preseason is a good time to impress your coaches. Someone should tell Von Wafer this because in 12 minutes, all he accomplished was 2 turnovers, 3 fouls, and 1 technical. But hey, at least he didn’t miss any shots!

(Click to see a bigger picture)

Stoudemire needs new friends

2010-06-01T07:41:00.001-07:00

With free agency looming, some big name free agents are talking about getting together and discussing their plans for league domination. The original group consisted of Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and Joe Johnson. Not wanting to be forgotten, Amare Stoudemire has expressed interest in joining this group.

"I'm friends with LeBron, Dwyane, Chris [Bosh] -- all those guys are friends of mine," Stoudemire told Fanhouse. "So I'm pretty sure they'll call me and we'll talk about a few things."

I can just picture Stoudemire sitting next to the phone waiting for his ‘friends’ to call him to hang out. And when they never call he’ll try to invite himself to their meetings and they’ll avoid him and it’ll be all awkward every time Stoudemire sees them. Then again, if Joe Johnson, the almost-but-not-quite superstar, is invited, Stoudemire will probably be too.

Reasons why Lebron should go to New York

2010-05-31T15:19:00.001-07:00

Hedo Turkoglu Is Not That Good

2010-04-11T19:44:00.001-07:00

Turkoglu was both beastly and awful in today’s game against the Chicago Bulls. He had half of his team’s total defensive rebounds, and 19 overall. However, his shooting was… off.

What to take from all this: Hedo Turkey-glue is a balanced player, shooting from both the outside and the inside. However, he is also very bad at shooting, from both the outside and the inside. He kind of sucked today, and he did not even win the funny picture of the day award. That honor goes to Jarret Jack’s swan dance improv.

Richard Jefferson – Genius or Insane?

2010-04-11T11:50:00.001-07:00

After reading that Richard Jefferson is considering opting out of his current contract (next year is the last year, worth $15 mil), I had several reactions.

Reaction 1: LOL

Reaction 2: Come on, Jefferson is useless, who would want to sign him to another large contract.

Reaction 3: He’s so dumb and useless and bald.

Reaction 4: This actually might make some sense for him. He knows that if he sucks again next year, his value will plummet to less than nothing, and he’ll have a hard time getting a new contract. Taking on a new contract that runs longer would provide him some financial security.

Reaction 5: Still, he’s so useless. I doubt he is worth more than $6 million a year unless he is placed in a perfect situation.

Reaction 6: I hope he opts out so the Spurs can get some real players next year.

Reaction 7: Lawl

After those reactions, I then stopped laughing long enough to actually read the article. Jefferson sees getting a new contract similar to signing an extension, which makes sense.

"So you figure it out. If you're able to get four years and 40 (million dollars by opting out) from someone, it's like, 'OK, I did lose out on 15 (million dollars). But I'm going to get basically a $25 million extension.' Those are things that you think of at the end of the season.''

I could see him getting 10 million a year from certain desperate teams *cough*Knicks*cough*, but even then I kind of doubt it. He makes it sound like his game is more suited to up tempo basketball and relies heavily on his athleticism, but he’s already getting old.

Self Promotion

2010-03-20T21:05:00.001-07:00

I made a post about basketball on my other blog so I thought I should link to it here.

Your 2009-10 Lakers

2010-03-13T12:33:00.001-08:00

Wise man Gasol and giddy, overexcited Kobe

Bynum: Are those glasses? You’re wearing glasses? I eat nerds like you for breakfast.

Artest: Whoah. Guys. Look. I’m not dribbling but the ball is still bouncing. Whoah.

Lamar Odom is too cool to do silly things like drive to the basket, so he has to have a bored face when doing so.

Derek Fisher, a player or a spectator? A little of both.

No one cares about Agent Zero anymore

2010-03-12T12:14:00.001-08:00

Gilbert Arenas wants to change his number to 6. But wait you say, Lebron is doing that too. What a copycat! Or it could be something far more sinister.

At the beginning of this season, Arenas said that he was giving up the whole Agent Zero shtick and be more serious. Well, that phase ended faster than a speeding bullet(!) and it was back to Agent Zero status. Now the number 6 is interesting. If you recall the movie Goldeneye, James Bond (007) is betrayed by his partner Trevelyan (006). Gilbert obviously plans on playing with someone who wears number 7, and reenacting the movie. He’ll be a good teammate, score a bunch, get a couple of dimes, and get the team in position for a playoff run. Then at the last minute, he’ll try to have #7 shot by an army of Russians (with really bad aim). This is very scary!

Here’s a list of some notable players who are wearing the number 7 this season.

Ben Gordon, Al Harrington, Jermaine ‘The Drain’ O’neal, Lamar Odom, J.J. ‘Duke pretty boy’ Redick, Brandon Roy

Rasheed Wallace: Better or Worse?

2010-03-09T09:16:00.001-08:00

Rasheed Wallace has taken 3 three-pointers combined in the last three games.

[…]

According to his game logs on Basketball Reference, the last instance of Sheed attempting three or fewer triples combined over a three-game span happened during the last three games of the…2005 season.

from CelticsHub

Sure, Rasheed Wallace may have taken a low amount of 3’s the past three games but maybe it’s not the good news that people seem to think it is. Jacking up 3’s is never a good thing, especially when Wallace has so much potential in the low post. But is this drought of 3’s really a product of Rasheed finally learning how to best utilize his talents, or is it merely a problem that you wouldn’t see in the simple box score? I myself have not watched any of the recent Celtics games, and I am far too busy at the moment to actually look at numbers. But I can imagine a handful of scenarios where this dropoff in 3’s is only a precursor to something far worse.

Rasheed Wallace is losing his vision, so he has had a foot on the line when he has been attempting a 3, nullifying it into the longest two possible.
Rasheed Wallace has lost all confidence in shooting 3’s. Even when wide open he opts to pass it to the unopen man, or even worse, pretend to fumble it away.
He has a gambling problem, and he is trying to win a bet that he won’t shoot more than 10 3’s the rest of the season.
His arms are too weak now, so he doesn’t have the range anymore.
That white spot on his head is a tumor and he is dying.

Portland Trailblazers Cursed

2010-03-08T08:38:00.001-08:00

First you have Gregory Oden injure himself every single season. Then you have your backup center get injured too. And then you have your own coach sustain a leg injury. Worst of all, you have 80 year old Juwan Howard as your center. And now, your injured center gets injured again.

Portland Trail Blazers center Joel Przybilla, already out for the season with a ruptured tendon in his right knee, re-injured the knee while slipping in the shower Saturday and will require surgery again this week, the team said.

Being a Trailblazers fan now is almost as bad as being a Knicks fan.

The Return of Maggette

2010-03-06T11:06:00.001-08:00

Maggette is back. Look how happy he is! Yay!

Unfortunately he forgot how to shoot a basketball. At first I thought they were fighting for a rebound, but nope. This is a Josh Smith block on a Corey Maggette “shot”.

Lakers at Heat Thoughts

2010-03-05T08:07:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually watch the game. The only thing I’ve seen is a picture of Dwyane Wade smiling, and the box score. And from that, I can’t be too worried about this one game as a Lakers fan.

Two things immediately jump out in the box score. Lakers free throw woes, and the blazing accuracy of Miami’s three point shot. The Lakers shot 15-25 from the charity stripe, good for 60%. If they had shot their season average of 77%, they would have scored 4 more points, which isn’t insignificant in a 3 point game. On Miami’s side, Quentin “every team keeps trading me” Richardson shot 7-11 from 3 point range. Fire.

Just based on box score alone, I’d just chalk this up as a disappointing loss.

An Adventure in Advanced Statistics: Free Throws

2010-03-04T06:20:00.001-08:00

All numbers from Hoopdata and www.nba.com . And when I say adventure, I mean I look at numbers and copy and paste interesting ones.

League Free Throw Average: 75.8%

Best team: Dallas Mavericks (81.5%)

2nd Worst team: Orlando Magic (72.3%)

Absolute worst: Detroit Pistons (71.4%)

Dallas being up there makes some sense. Dirk Nowitzki shoots a sizable chunk of his team’s free throws, and he’s a great free throw shooter (no need to fade away/be soft when no one is guarding you!). Orlando being low makes sense too. Dwight Howard gets the most free throws in the league, and he’s not that great at them. For a long time, Orlando was the worst in the league percentage wise.

But wow, Detroit. Their low % can be traced to one thing. The Ben Wallace free throw. 2-20 in the past 5 games. Even scarier is that Detroit shoots 71.5% on free throws at home, and 77.3% on the road. In fact, they seem to shoot a lot better in general while away.

29.6% vs 36.7% for 3’s.

44% vs 46.6% overall.

Their two best players, Rip Hammie and Tayshaun Prince, were injured for some games so I took a look to see if they had played more road games than home games. Results of a quick glance? No they haven’t. Talk about home court disadvantage. Oh, and talk about sucking too.

Yao Ming is tall

2010-03-03T12:13:00.001-08:00

Almost looks like a normal couple in the rain, until you realize Yao Ming is like a thousand million feet tall and his wife Mrs. Ming is like a thousand million feet minus a “Yao head”™ tall.

They’re both basketball players. One has to wonder if they talk ball during breakfast. Perhaps they talk about how to defend the pick and roll, or how to set a proper screen, or how Yao becomes useless when he is fronted. Only soon to come baby Yao will know.

The Baby Eater

2010-03-03T07:53:00.001-08:00

Jason Maxiell eats babies. Jason Maxiell meets Big Baby aka Uno Uno aka Glen Davis aka Ronald Glen Davis. Jason Maxiell the baby eater is reaching for the ketchup.

Rejection

2010-03-03T06:33:00.001-08:00

A little late on this but here goes. I had heard about T-Mac sending Lebron a message about how great it is to play in New York (if you like losing) but I hadn’t heard about Lebron’s response.

From the NYPost:

T-Mac and LeBron have been in communication. "He's a good friend,'' McGrady said at the morning shootaround at Quicken Loans Arena. "He wanted to see me back on the basketball court and congratulate me on being back. I sent him an email that said: "I'm in the Big Apple. I'll see you here next season.''

LeBron's response was a "LOL.''

Now I don’t know how legitimate this is. Maybe it’s just a joke and I’m not seeing it. Only way Lebron is in the Big Apple next season is when he’s there to drop a triple double against the Knicks. Also, who’s to say T-Mac won’t be playing in China by then anyway?

Pacers at Lakers

2010-03-02T09:26:00.001-08:00

Today the Indiana Pacers take on the Los Angeles Lakers. What’s that you say? What is a Pacer and what is a Laker? Well, I don’t know either. Maybe their team logos will help us solve this mystery.

Nope.

Celtics interested in Michael Finley

2010-03-01T19:24:00.001-08:00

The San Antonio Spurs waived Michael Finley today per his request to be released. The deadline to be a free agent still eligible for the playoffs was today. Right off the bat, the Boston Celtics have expressed interest in signing him.

Finley is 36 years old, and has played in 25 games this season, averaging 15.8 minutes and 3.7 points on 38.1% shooting. Despite that, I can see how this might work out for the Celtics. Ray Allen is 34 years old, KG is 33, Paul Pierce 32, Scalabrine 31 (not that he really matters), Rasheed Wallace is 35.

These players are getting up there in terms of their basketball life, and they’re not going to get younger. So why not try to make them *feel* younger by bringing in an old dude? They might look at Finley and realize that they have to try extra hard this year because in a year or two they’ll become useless too. Fear as motivation? Why not.

Michael Jordan’s Ownership Starts Out Poorly

2010-03-01T09:56:00.001-08:00

As you may have heard, Michael Jordan has bought the Charlotte Bobcats and will officially take over by the end of March. To celebrate, Jordan decided to pick on a rookie in a game of Horse.

One of Michael Jordan's first acts since reaching a deal to buy the Charlotte Bobcats: losing two games of H-O-R-S-E to guard Gerald Henderson.

A trash-talking Jordan attended the Bobcats' shootaround Monday morning before their game against Dallas, challenging the rookie Henderson to a shooting competition after the workout.

While Jordan made a free throw with his eyes closed and relentlessly needled Henderson, he couldn't hold him off in either game.

Gerald Hender-who? Henderson is a rookie guard who has played in 29 games this year and has shot 33.8%, albeit in limited minutes. And Michael Jordan still lost. At least he chose to compete against a guard though. MJ may end up challenging Tyson ‘I can only score when Chris Paul sends me an alley-oop, oh and I’m injured’ Chandler during the next shootaround to regain his pride.

Milk is bad.

2010-02-23T03:51:00.000-08:00

Considering that Vince Carter is now a sad excuse for a basketball player and can barely ~~dunk~~ jump, I'd say stay away from milk.

Vince Carter

2010-01-29T17:00:00.000-08:00

I originally intended to write out 5 observations from Thursday night's basketball match between the Boston Celtics and the Orlando Magic. The above picture is the only thing I came up with. Sure, I can talk about how great it is that I traded for Rashard Lewis in my fantasy league, or how Garnett doesn't look 100%, but Vince Carter's suckitude was just too enormous.

There wasn't a single play that he looked comfortable handling the ball. His first play? Traveling. His last play? Not being able to get open 30 feet away from the basket, forcing Redick to abandon the drawn up play and pass to Lewis instead. In fact, if I was Doc Rivers I would have let Vince Carter handle the ball on the last play.

VC is so washed up now. His offensive repertoire consists of 3 things now.

1. Shooting 3 pointers 5 feet out from the line because he can't get any closer
2. Shoot a off balance shot, even when open (one of his two made shots were of this variety)
3. Drive into the lane and get smothered because defenders know that 90% of the time he's not going to pass

He is the reason why the Magic are struggling. He's been bad this season, and yet he has a usage rate of 26.9%. In yesterday's game, he decided that he should suck some more and and had a usage rate of 31.8, second only to Dwight Howard.

I don't want to seem like an overly negative person so I don't think it'd be a bad idea to list a few things that he did well in yesterday's game.

Paul Pierce tried to post him up and Carter defended Pierce very well, drawing an offensive foul. (The next time Pierce posted up, Carter fouled him)

He dived to the ground for a loose ball. (He didn't get it.)

Carter did not get open for the last shot so someone more capable, aka anyone else, was able to take the last shot. (This wasn't really done on purpose so he only gets half credit.)

I actually kind of like the Magic so I hope VC can start sucking less soon.

Lakers-Bucks Local Announcers

2009-12-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

Continuing my procrastination streak...

I thought the Bucks announcers did a decent job avoiding the "homer" tag. The play by play announcer was fair, but the color commentator was a little too biased. Overall they kept themselves in check though. Some interesting notes.

When the Lakers were winning, they were very, very fair.
When the Bucks pulled ahead in the 4th quarter, the color commentator started getting out of control.
On the Buck's last shot of the game (a missed Michael Redd runner), one of the announcers yelled 'Michael Reddddd!'. This isn't too bad of an offense actually, it was a very exciting moment.
On Kobe's game winning shot, the color commentator yelled out 'MISS IT!'. This isn't that cool.
At one point in the 3rd quarter, they talked to each other about eating cookies. They just decided to stop calling the game and talk about cookies. (Note: Intense cookie talk starts around the 30 second mark)

Truehoop Annoys Me

2009-12-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Busy with finals. Here's a short rant.

Henry Abbot of Truehoop annoys the beejeezus out of me. This guy is a huge Blazers fan and Kobe Bryant "hater" (hater is a bit extreme), which is okay until you bring that bias into your blog that's directed towards a national audience. Abbot respects Kobe, but often goes out of his way to downplay his achievements. Abbot's most recent post about Kobe is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. This is the Truehoop formula for Kobe Bryant posts.

1. Talk about something good about Kobe to show that you are not 'hating'.

2. Immediately discredit that with analysis and stats, which may or may not be accurate/applicable.

3. Finish post by straddling the line between 'Kobe is overrated' and 'Kobe is good' to show that you are not biased.

This most recent post can be summarized like this.

"Kobe hit a game winning shot and did pretty well in the 4th and OT. But stats show Kobe usually is not that good in the 4th and OT, many people are better. Also, he may have gotten a lot of preferential treatment from refs. But who knows, I mean, I'm not saying Kobe is not that good, but the stats show that he is not that good."

This came out longer and less coherent than I had planned. Stay tuned for my rant about Bill Simmons someday.

Chill Out

2009-12-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

Hey Joakim Noah, chill out.

Turkododo

2009-12-03T19:23:00.000-08:00

This is a few days old but I procrastinated. If this is what Rasheed Wallace really said and not some typo, he is my new hero.

Kobe Is An Asshole

2009-11-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

Kobe: High Five!

Monta Ellis: High Five!

Kobe: Psych.

Coaching Is Important

2009-11-28T22:39:00.000-08:00

Let's take a look at the Dallas Mavericks and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Their coaches have two very different coaching styles.

Rick Carlise of the Dallas Mavs

Dirk, pat your head!

Mike Brown of the Cleveland Cavs

Lebron, open your mouth really wide!

Lebron: AHHHHHHH

Dirk: Wut

"make money money"

2009-11-24T14:40:00.000-08:00

John Reuben- "Make Money Money"

"Jump On It"

2009-11-22T18:52:00.000-08:00

How do You compare to the league of high jumpers, mega-flyers, and legendaryyy skywalkers?

(Average Vertical Jump in Inches)

1. Average 20 year old - 20"
2. Average European NBA Player - 23"
Note: yes, that is Peja...
3. Average NBA Player - 28"
4. Nate Robinson - 43"
5. Michael Jordan - 48"
6. Randy Moss - 51"
7. Kangaroos - 120"
8. Mario - 357"
Note: this figure is still waiting to be verified.

"Jump on It" - Sir Mix-a-Lot

Don Nelson

2009-11-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

This is the coach of the Golden State Warriors.

I love you, man.

He is going to jail for being a bad coach. And he is happy about it because that means he doesn't have to coach this god forsaken team anymore.

He is not very good at talking to referees.

Does this shirt make my man-boobs look big?

The Pistons New Defense

2009-11-20T07:58:00.000-08:00

Kwame Brown: *grabs crotch with one hand* High five!

Derek Fisher: Aw man, why do you have to do that, you know I'm only half your height.

Pistons defender I don't recognize: *Sneaks in for the kill*

Raja Bell Doesn't Get It Yet

2009-11-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

Raja Bell: Are you KIDDING me ref!?!?!??!

Mikki Moore: Chill out dude, you're on the Warriors now. We're supposed to lose.

Ref: Yeah, what he said.