“I’m back.”
--
Michael Jordan, announcing on March 18, 1995 his return to the Chicago Bulls
“I’m back.”
--Me, announcing on March 11, 2011 my return to basketball for the first time in the spring semester
On a Thursday night filled with optimism, I made the decision to take my talents to the gym for a Friday morning shootaround. This being only the second time this semester that I would find myself with a basketball in my hands, I sought some inspiration from the GOAT, Michael Jordan, in the form of a commercial.
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
To be the GOFM (Greatest of Friday Morning), I had to take that line to heart. I had originally intended to shoot alone, but upon arrival my competitive juices flowed and I ended up playing two games instead.
Game 1
I guarded the only other asian guy playing, not because I can only guard asians, but because he wasn’t too tall or too muscular. We played to 21, by two’s and three’s. On our second offensive play, the self appointed point guard drove into the paint and kicked it out to me for the wide open 3. Miss. But that was okay, I couldn’t be afraid of shooting like Andris Biedrins. Michael Jordan said it himself, he’s missed 9000 shots in his career. (It’s actually closer to 12,000, but hey, it’s his commercial so he can say whatever he wants.)
From that first shot attempt on, it was mostly a blur.
Heavily contested baseline jumper. Miss.
Another wide open 3 pointer. Miss.
My patented ‘one dribble because any more than one dribble and I lose control of the ball’ pull up jumper. Too strong. Airball Miss.
My final stat line? 0-8. No assists. Two turnovers.
One of the turnovers was so bad that I could probably be legally banned from the sport for life. On a 2 on 1 fast break, I lobbed the ball up so high that Yao Ming on stilts on a giraffe wouldn’t have been able to catch it.
Oh and we lost 21-6. I may or may not have taken the most shots on the team.
Game 2
Same teams, except one of our players left and we picked up a new person. By this point I was gassed so I didn’t do much. I ended up shooting 0 times, not out of fear of failure, but out of fear of collapsing from exhaustion mid-shot. I almost got an assist but some guy blew a layup to spite me. (Not really, he blew a layup because he sucks.) (Not really, I’m just joking, my teammates were great.)
We won 21-15. Hm. I could draw some conclusions but I think it’s pretty obvious.
Aftermath
So now I’m just confused. I failed a lot, but I didn’t ever succeed. Perhaps I didn’t fail enough.
Either way, I’m back.
