We, as a nation of sports fans, have an unhealthy obsession with power rankings. Don’t get me wrong, ranking teams is a natural and fun thing to do. We can’t actually crown a team as the champion until the end of the year, and power rankings let us do that every week.
I don’t want to sound like I only care about good teams, but power rankings only really matter for the top 5 or so teams. As a Warriors fan, I don’t jump out of my chair and yell “Progress!” when my team jumps from the 22nd spot to the 19th spot in some random person’s power rankings. Power rankings try to tell you who’s better beyond the win-loss record, but for mediocre teams that’s almost all that matters.
ESPN has two power rankings available for our entertainment. The featured one is Hollinger’s Power Rankings, which is based on some formula. It’s very good because numbers tell us everything about basketball. Oh wait no they don’t. The other one is by Marc Stein, and he just uses his eyes to tell us what’s up. That’s very good because he watches every game in the week and therefore is qualified to compare all the teams. Oh wait no he doesn’t.
Ending on a happier note, here’s my power rankings for the days in a week.
| Rank | Day | Comments |
| 1 | Friday | Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday |
| 2 | Saturday | No obligations |
| 3 | Sunday | Close call between Sunday and Thursday but Sunday has been impressive lately |
| 4 | Thursday | Almost Friday |
| 5 | Tuesday | Comes after Monday, which is good |
| 6 | Wednesday | The word itself is too long so I have to dock it points |
| 7 | Monday | Garfield hates Mondays, so do I |
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